Investing in my self esteem
For me, one of the worst side effects of my sexual assault was the lasting influence it had on my self-esteem and self-worth. In an instant the abuser showed me that I don't matter and don't have control, effectively wiping out the base that my life was created on. Because of this, my road to recovery was a challenge for longer than I had hoped (I'm still recovering).
I've come to realize that how we view ourselves subconsciously effects almost everything in our life. And rebuilding self-esteem and self-worth can help dramatically on the path towards healing. I think it is one of the most important aspects of living a healthy life. And the best part is that it's something you can work on by yourself.
A life that is based on negativity and depressing self talk is a life that struggles to move forward in any situation. And it is proven that like energy attracts, thus bringing more negative influences around. Think about it, if you have low self esteem what are the odds of asking for a raise or going after a promotion. How likely are you to meet new people or try new things? How true is it that you'll be moving towards healing and creating a life that you want?
Creating higher self-esteem doesn't happen over night, making changes requires forming new habits, healthy, loving, and supportive habits. It may also require letting go of some negative things in your life.
Science suggests that it takes 2 months to form new habits. That may seem like a long time. So, I challenge you to do this just to get started and raise your awareness about where you are. I promise it's not hard and only takes a few minutes each day. Try it for a week and see where you're at. The aim is to bring awareness to how you talk to yourself and slowly make shifts towards more positive self-talk and self-esteem.
Gratitude I have found that it is harder to be mad or upset when you are being thankful. Practicing gratitude is one of the best ways to help center yourself and come back to the present. That helps us focus on where we are and raise our energy.
-In the morning and at night list 3 things you are grateful for and try to carry them with you throughout the day.
Change your language The vocabulary we use subconsciously paints a picture for the world we live in. Using words like 'can't', 'have to', and 'should' have a significant impact on our day when used regularly. They help to make us feel like we don't have a choice and that life is happening to us. When those words are replaced with more positive or conscious vocabulary the picture we paint is much brighter.
-Stop using the words 'can't', 'have to', and 'should'. Replace them with 'I (don't) want to', 'I choose (not) to', or 'I would (not) like to'.
Judgement Journal I never realized how much I talked negatively to myself. Think about this-if we treated people the way we treat ourselves we would end up in jail. And what good does this judgement do for us? Nothing that I can think of.
-Start a journal and make a note every time you judge yourself - it's probably more often that you realize.
Stop comparing You are your own unique human being. Your life is different than everyone else's. So why do you keep comparing yourself to them?
-Take note of how often you compare yourself to others. You can even put it in your Judgement Journal. How positive is this habit?
Celebrate the small things Changes won't happen over night. They take time. Celebrating the little steps helps to keep perspective-any change, no matter how small is a step in the right direction.
-Focus on all the little progress like taking the stairs or not comparing yourself to others for a day. Give yourself little incentives if that helps too.
Good luck! I'd love to hear how this works our for you.
