Responding to rape
I believe that humans have the ability to choose how to respond. There are definitely challenging times where it may not see like there is an option. The following is my response to rape from 7 different perspectives. There is a previous blog that goes over the 7 stages.
Obviously, there are many ways to interpret these stages and each person’s story is individual to them. I’d like to highlight that it is YOUR choice to respond in the manner that you do.
1. Why did this have to happen to me? I’ve never done anything to anyone. Why am I being punished? No one will ever love me again, I’m worthless and used and broken. I won’t be able to have a relationship, I won’t be able to trust. My life is over. All I want to do is cry all the time. My friends don’t understand me. No one knows what this is like. They say they do but they don’t. I’m all alone in the world.
2. You fucking piece of shit! Why would you do that to someone?!? I’m a human being! I have feelings, and a life. I HAVE RIGHTS!!!! Fuck you. This is the problem with society. And why would you put yourself in that situation? How did you not see this coming? You should have been more aware. You should have done more. And fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…I’m never trusting anyone ever again! Person who sits next to me in the subway, person who smiles at me…nope, I’m never feeling comfortable again. And don’t even think of following me on the street! I’m so angry!!!
3. Well…ok…I need to wrap my head around this. Things are kind of really messed up for me but it could have been much worse. I'm lucky to be alive. This is a symptom of a broken society. There is obviously something wrong with my abuser. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I want to press charges. I believe that in situations like this there are multiple victims and individuals effected. Staying angry and focusing on the negative will only harm myself at this point. I’m choosing to move past this. There’s no point in dwelling on it. Shit happens.
4. I want to work with people who have been through this too. I want to help survivors heal and rebuild their lives. I’m not sure how I feel about pressing charges. I believe our justice system is broken and that there has to be a better way to help, not only other survivors, but also abusers; they obviously have their own issues, I want to help them too. I want to work on myself so I can get over this, so it is not a big part of my life. I believe in looking at the whole picture and working on that, not just the symptoms of it all. There has to be a way to help my abuser understand that what was done was wrong. Hopefully by understanding that it won’t happen to anyone else and society will be just a little better.
5. I have come to see that I was tolerating so many things in my life. This is a pivotal point in my life. For so long I have ‘settled’. Now, I am learning and growing and standing up for myself and my life. I am happy with where I am and where I am going. I see growth and opportunities all around me and I am excited to be moving forward. I and I alone control my life.
6.We are all connected. We achieve, suffer, and experience everything all at the same time. I can feel that pain of every person who has gone through this before me and I can feel for those who will go through it in their life. I can also feel the joy the world has to offer. There is purpose and value in this; right here, right now. I feel a sense of love and passion for all those around me. Everything that happens is part of the universe’s plan and meant to be.
7. I am love, I am life, I am light. I am yesterday, right now, and tomorrow. There is no winning or losing, those are rules humans have created to help us ‘play the game of life’. I can create anything and everything I chose whenever I want to.
How did you react?
How much of a choice did your reaction feel like?
How do you want to react?
How did that change over time?
By signing up for Life Coaching we can help you understand how you reacted, why you reacted that way, and how to ensure that you react to life in a manner that is healthy and makes you proud.
How amazing will it feel when you’re in control instead of responding to things that happen?
Sign up today to learn more. https://www.ptsdlifecoaching.com/programs-booking
